Breaking Point
by RocknVaughn
Summary: It's a week before prom and Josie's now part of the in crowd. She's been struggling to juggle her assignment and her conscience, all while secretly falling in love with her handsome English teacher. What will she do when she reaches her breaking point?
1. Chapter 1

Breaking Point  
by RocknVaughn

A/N: Since I am hopelessly stuck on Snowbound at the moment (but still not giving up on it...), I decided to start on another story idea I had to get the creative juices flowing. Hope you like it!

-

Josie watched in awe as the crowded hallway parted to allow her and Rob to pass by. Outwardly, she smiled, nodded and said hello to the many students who acknowledged her, but inside she could hardly believe it.

Her, Josie Grossie, the most picked-on, shunned kid in high school the first time around, was now one of the most popular in her second go-round. It was amazing; it was surreal. She had to fight the urge to pinch herself; afraid it was all a dream. She couldn't believe that her job had given her this unique opportunity to change what had so affected her past.

The only down side to her current assignment was her hopeless attraction to her English teacher Sam Coulson. His unwavering support and belief in her and her writing ability meant more to Josie than she could say. He'd been kind to her when no one else was and had continued to be a guiding hand in her life ever since. He was so incredibly sweet and wonderful, and had been from the very first day she'd met him.

The problem was that he was also so incredibly _taken_…not to mention that, even if he wasn't, to him she was only seventeen and his student. _Not that it matters. Someone as wonderful as Sam would never notice someone like me anyway_…Josie reasoned before bringing her thoughts back to the present.

They passed by Jason, Brett, and Tommy, who all greeted them.

"Hey Jos; hey Robster," Jason said, waving his hand as he walked by.

"Looking good, guys," Brett chimed in, giving Josie in her clingy white and blue wrap dress an appreciative once-over and a smile.

Tommy slapped Rob on the shoulder and smiled at Josie. "Hey Jos. Rob, rufus kegger, man!"

Rob chuckled as he and Josie turned the corner, heading for the doors that led to the school courtyard. Josie had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle a delighted giggle. "Rob, this is so unbelievable. I mean…"

She and Rob reached out to push the double doors in front of them and step out into the warm late spring sunshine.

"..I spent my whole life wanting to fit in, and now….I finally feel like I do."

Rob put his hand across Josie's shoulders and gave his big sister an affectionate squeeze. "You do fit in, Josie…you do."

Off to their right, Rob noticed Tracie rushing over to meet them. Giving Josie's arm a parting squeeze, he nodded toward Tracie, indicating to Josie where he was going, and walked off in that direction.

But Josie wasn't alone for long. Moments later, Gibby and Kirsten ran up to her.

Gibby asked, "Hey Josie…who did Archie date: Betty or Veronica?"

"Both," she informed them, biting back a smile.

Gibby turned to Kirsten, hands on her hips petulantly. "See? _Told_ you…"

Kirsten shook her head ruefully as they walked off. _Obviously another prom idea shot down_…Josie thought to herself, amused. _They're both going to be wearing trash bags to prom at this rate…_

From just behind her, a soft, warm voice whispered conspiratorially, "I always liked Betty better…"

Josie closed her eyes for a split second, savoring the way the sensitive skin at the back of her neck tingled from the feel of Sam's breath against it as he spoke. Despite herself, she felt her heart skip a beat and then begin to race as she recognized the earthy scent of his aftershave.

Not aware of the pretty flush that colored her cheeks, she turned, flashing Sam a delighted smile. "Really?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

Sam fell into step with Josie as they ambled toward the area where the prom props were being staged. "Oh yeah…" he continued with mock-seriousness, "Betty was so fun and spunky. Sure, Veronica had the great legs…but she was too moody. Very high maintenance."

Josie laughed softly, and Sam joined in. They meandered onward, with no specific path or destination in mind, not needing to speak as they kept each other company. Suddenly, Sam placed a staying hand on Josie's elbow. Stopping, Josie turned and looked at Sam in confusion, but he just smiled and put up one finger, indicating for her to wait. Then, with a mischievous glint in his eye, he jogged off in the direction they had just come.

A moment later, Sam reappeared, cradling something between his hands. Josie's brow furrowed in amused confusion as she watched Sam jog back toward her, stopping just in front of her. A bit out of breath, but smiling widely, Sam opened his cupped hands, revealing a beautiful pale peach rosebud in bloom. Sam grasped the flower at the stem and held it out to her.

"For you," he said simply.

Josie sucked in a breath; her mouth formed a perfect O as she fought the crazy urge to cry. "Really?" she asked in wonder.

Sam's green eyes twinkled as he directed his crooked grin at her and nodded.

Josie reached out to grasp the stem reverently, sucking in an involuntary breath as her fingers grazed Sam's. Immediately, their eyes connected and lingered as Josie slowly lifted the rose to her nose. Breathing in the sweet fragrance, she sighed, her gaze with Sam never wavering, "It's beautiful…"

Again, Josie felt that thing…that inexorable pull of connection, an electricity that seemed to spark whenever Sam was near that she felt powerless to fight against. She found herself wishing for perhaps the millionth time that her feelings for him weren't unrequited.

Finally, she was able to break the spell and cast her gaze downward toward the rose. This simple act had to have been one of the nicest, most romantic things anyone had ever done for her. "Thank you," she said, her voice choked with emotion.

Sam's smile widened as he answered, "You're very welcome, Josie." Putting a soft hand to her elbow again to direct her, they continued their wandering path.

A moment later, Sera came from around a backdrop and made a beeline for the pair. "Josie," she asked once she was in front of them, "were Tweedledum and Tweedledee a couple?"

Josie glanced sidelong at Sam as he did the same. She noticed his lips twitch just slightly, as if they were sharing a private joke. It was such a minute reaction that most likely no one else would have noticed, yet Josie found herself having to bite the side of her cheek to keep from giggling in response. "Well…in the strictest sense, no." Josie watched as Sera's face fell and was quick to add, "But for prom…sure."

Sera beamed, bouncing up and down in her excitement. "Thanks, Josie!" she enthused, giving Josie a spontaneous hug before racing off to find her prom date Brett.

As Sam watched Sera walk away, he complimented Josie, "You're really doing a great job here, Josie. Your "can do" attitude is very refreshing."

Josie blushed and bent her head, hoping her hair would hide her cheeks. She studied the rose in her hand before peeking at Sam from beneath her lashes. "Thanks."

Silence stretched on between them and soon Josie found herself babbling nervously. "They weren't related to Humpty Dumpty, were they?" she asked.

Sam's brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to follow Josie's train of thought.

"Tweedledum and Tweedledee…" Josie clarified.

Immediately, Sam's smile returned. He tapped the side of his face as if in thought before replying good-naturedly, "Maybe distant cousins. They did have that egg shape in common."

A shadow of melancholy flitted across Josie's face as the two of them stepped up onto a small wooden bridge that would be spanning a fake moat at the prom. When they reached the middle of it, Josie stopped and turned so that she was leaning her forearms on the railing. "Well, at least Tweedledum and Tweedledee had each other. Humpty Dumpty was all alone," she said sadly.

Sam stopped also and stood next to Josie, mimicking her stance at the railing. He looked as if he was trying to gather his thoughts. Wistfulness crept into his tone as he answered, "Yeah…that's sad, isn't it? He had to sit on that wall all by himself. He deserved to have somebody."

"I think that's what we all need," Josie responded. "Someone to sit up on the wall with us…"

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "to watch the world go by…"

"…and put us back together when we fall," Josie finished.

Their eyes met and held for a long moment before Sam looked back out over the sea of prom decorations. Then he playfully nudged Josie with his elbow to get her attention. When she turned her head toward him, his crooked grin returned. "Our penguin, right?"

Josie nodded and stared at her arms resting on the railing, biting back a huge grin. He remembered! She couldn't believe he still remembered that conversation of hers he'd overheard from weeks ago.

Leaning closer to her, Sam murmured in Josie's ear, "You're not the only one who remembers what people say…"

And now, despite herself, Josie smiled in delight, her eyes sparkling.

Sam noticed the change immediately. "Aha!" he said, ducking his head so he could make eye contact with Josie. "There it is! I knew that smile was in there somewhere."

Josie turned toward him so that her hip was now resting against the railing. Sam turned toward her as well. Neither one of them seemed to notice that they were standing closer together than a teacher and student normally would.

Josie studied Sam's face; his eyes. He seemed to be doing the same to her. Finally, with her voice quietly earnest, she asked him, "Do you think you'll find her?"

Sam stared at her for so long without answering that Josie feared he didn't know what she meant. "Your penguin, I mean," she clarified awkwardly; suddenly mortified that she'd even asked. After all, he had a girlfriend; he probably thought _she_ was his penguin. Otherwise, why would he have stayed with her for so long?

Sam's expression grew soft as he replied, his voice barely above a whisper, "Yeah…actually, I do."

Sam's eyes met Josie's and time seemed to stop. She had no idea how long they had stood there, but she felt entranced. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she also knew she didn't have the willpower to look away. Of their own volition, Josie's eyes skimmed lower, studying the sensual curve of Sam's lips; imagining how they would feel pressed against hers… No longer able to fight the fantasy she was ensnared in, her eyes slid closed.

Even though she could not see it, she swore she could sense Sam's approach. Ever so slowly, she felt his body weight shift, felt him lean toward her, felt his staccato breaths as they splayed across her cheeks. Closer…closer…

"Oh, my God!"

Sam's voice was so quiet that Josie could easily have missed what he'd said had he not been so close to her. But it was his alarmed tone that brought Josie back to Earth fast and hard. As her eyes flickered open, she found that Sam had moved back a step to put more space between them and was no longer looking at her. Josie felt so off-balance by the sudden change in gear that she had to grasp the handrail with both hands to keep from falling over.

_God, I am so stupid!_ Josie raged internally as her cheeks burned bright red in mortification. _What the heck is the matter with me?_ She realized that whatever reciprocation she'd felt moments ago must have been only in her mind.

But before she could even open her mouth to form an apology, Sam turned to her as if nothing had happened and exclaimed with suppressed excitement, "Oh, I almost forgot!" He placed his hand lightly at the small of Josie's back and motioned to two white iron benches just beyond them. "Here, come on and sit down for a moment."

It seemed clear to Josie that either Sam hadn't noticed her momentary loss of control, or else he was too much of a gentleman to mention it. Either way, she was very relieved to not have to try to explain herself. She sat at the edge of one bench as Sam sat at the corner of the other. As he turned to her, he seemed to notice how close together they were (their knees were almost touching) and he moved away slightly, apparently so she wouldn't feel crowded.

"What did you want to tell me?" Josie asked, wincing internally at how breathless she still sounded.

Sam beamed. "I got you a meeting with the Admissions guy from Dartmouth!"

Josie's mouth fell open in alarm. "What? But…" she stammered, "I wasn't even going to college…"

In response, Sam gushed, "No, I know, but I pulled some strings, got him to look at your writing, and he agreed to meet with you." Excitement glowed in his eyes and smile.

As touched as she was that Sam would go out of his way to do such a thing, right now the only emotion she felt was sheer terror. "Oh…yikes!"

Sam apparently mistook Josie's panic as nerves. In an obvious attempt to calm her down, he teased, "Yeah…I told him, 'If I'm wrong about this girl, you can take away my teaching certificate!'"

Stunned, Josie leaned forward, closer to Sam. "Wow…" she breathed in amazement, "You believe in me that much?" She could hardly believe that he would go through all that trouble just for her.

Now it was Sam's turn to move closer to Josie. "Of course I do, Josie," he responded sincerely. "You owe it to yourself…to your writing…to go to college. You're an _amazing_ writer. You just have to find your story."

Their eyes met and lingered. Sam smiled encouragingly, yet Josie felt that thread of panic flutter back through her. Sam made it sound so easy, yet he had no idea how true his statement was. She still needed to "find her story"…and after 2 months at South Glen South, she was starting to believe it would never happen.

Josie looked down miserably, watching her fingers as they twisted the rose he had given her around and around. "I don't know _how_ to find it," she admitted hoarsely.

Sam slid down the bench closer to Josie, so close that their knees now touched. He reached out and put a curled knuckle under Josie's chin, tilting her head up to meet his eyes again. "Of _course_ you do," he encouraged.

Josie shook her head in denial.

"Yes, you do," Sam insisted, giving a lock of Josie's golden hair a playful tug. "You do it all the time in my class."

"That's different," Josie protested. "You give us the topics. How will I write when it's just me? When I have to come up with my own ideas?"

"That's simple," Sam replied encouragingly. "To write well, you have to write what you know. Always start with you, with what's inside of you. If you use that as a starting point, Josie, you can't go wrong."

"I know I have only been teaching for three years, but I've seen enough to know you have a special gift. All you need is a little confidence. If you can just learn to believe in yourself, you'll find that your talent could take you anywhere you want to go."

Josie's eyes glimmered with unshed tears. "You really think so?"

"Uh-huh. You can do it; I know you can," Sam replied. He smiled at her, and this time Josie returned it.

The moment was broken by a voice behind them. "_There_ you are, Josie!" exclaimed Gibby. "I've been looking all over for you."

Self-consciously, Josie shot to her feet and turned toward the girl. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing…I just need your help with something," Gibby said, momentarily glancing at Mr. Coulson before returning her gaze to her friend. "Can you come?"

Josie looked awkwardly between Sam and Gibby. "I, uh…" She looked back at Sam questioningly.

"That's fine, Josie," he answered for her with a reassuring smile. "We can discuss this more another time."

Shooting him a grateful smile, she said, "Okay, lead the way."

As she and Gibby crossed back over the bridge, Josie turned and peeked over her shoulder at Sam, shrugging one shoulder and giving him a quick wave. He waved back and then blended into the milling crowd of students.

Turning back to Gibby with an internal sigh, she asked, "So, what did you need my help with?"

Gibby linked her arm with Josie's and confided, "Oh, nothing. I just noticed that Mr. Coulson seemed to be monopolizing your time and I wanted to give you a chance to escape. I know how long-winded teachers can be sometimes…"

"Yeah," Josie agreed wistfully, already wishing she were still sitting and talking with Sam.

"Hey, let's go touch up our makeup, and then maybe I can round up Kristen and Kirsten and we can head to the mall," Gibby suggested.

"Yeah…sure," Josie agreed, although not very enthusiastically.

Luckily, Gibby didn't notice. She simply waited by Josie's locker as she retrieved her purse and then followed Josie into the girls' bathroom. At the mirror, Gibby opened her purse on the counter, pulled out her mascara, and began primping.

Josie stood next to her and set down her bag. But before she could pull out her lip-gloss, she heard a beep. Josie knew what that was; her cell phone was telling her she'd missed a call. On a sigh, Josie dug in her purse to extract the phone, and then blanched when she saw who it was.

"What's up?" Gibby asked, now applying a new coat of lipstick.

"Oh…it's my…Mom," Josie fibbed. "I'm gonna need to call her back and find out what she wanted."

"Okay, sure," Gibby agreed, zipping up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll just wait outside for you."

"Thanks."

Once Gibby had left the bathroom, Josie quickly peeked underneath all the stalls to make sure she was alone, and then dialed the familiar number.

"Geller!" Gus bellowed into the phone without preamble. "I want to see you in my office right away. Make your excuses and get your butt in here!"

"Uh…" Josie stammered, "ah…okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Gus hung up before she could say goodbye. Dropping the phone into her purse, Josie found that her hands were shaking. _Now_ what had she done?

Sticking her head out the bathroom door, she tapped Gibby on the shoulder. "Looks like the shopping trip is off," Josie said, trying to look as upset about that news as possible. "My mom needs me to come right home today."

"That's so totally _not_ rufus …and on a Friday night, too!"

"Yeah, it really stinks," Josie agreed.

Gibby stood there for a moment, and then shrugged. "Well, maybe we could go tomorrow instead? After all, we still have to get our costumes."

_I already have my costume,_ Josie thought, but said aloud, "Sure, sounds like fun. Call you around 11?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Gibby agreed. "After all, I so totally sleep in on Saturday. See ya later, Josie!" she said as she walked away.

"See ya," Josie answered, stepping back inside the bathroom and shutting the door.

She looked in the mirror and announced quietly, "Okay everyone, show's over for now; I need to use the facilities…" Then she reached up and turned off the switch for the hidden camera.

Leaning over the sink, Josie turned on the cold-water tap and splashed her face. Patting her face dry with a paper towel, she turned and went into a stall, putting the toilet lid down and sitting on top of it, locking the door behind her.

She leaned over and buried her hands in her hair, trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the last two months, especially what had happened with Sam in the past hour.

_Mr. Coulson,_ she thought furiously, _he's Mr. Coulson to you, not Sam. That's what gets you into so much trouble. _

Josie admitted to herself that--no matter how hard she tried--she just had a difficult time thinking of him as anything other than Sam. The fact that they had become friends of sorts over the last two months didn't help matters. When she was with him, it seemed that remaining in the guise of a seventeen-year-old student was a struggle.

_It doesn't help that you've fallen in love with him either,_ she scolded herself crossly. It became exponentially harder with each passing day to contain the things she felt for Sam, even knowing that he was her teacher, that he thought she was underage, that he had a girlfriend. Nothing seemed to sway her foolish heart where he was concerned.

Sam Coulson had certainly turned a "simple" assignment into an incredibly complicated one. When she was in his presence, she seemed to forget what it was she was supposed to be doing; she lost track of everything but him.

And now things were getting worse. While she appreciated Sam's support and belief in her writing ability more than she could possibly put into words, he had unwittingly put her into a nearly impossible situation. How could she possibly fly out to New Hampshire and continue this ridiculous charade for yet another innocent person? But yet, how could she let Sam down when he'd gone so far out on a limb for her just to get her this chance?

Josie rubbed her fingers against her temples and blinked back tears of frustration. While she hated lying to everyone the way she'd been doing the last 2 months, she _loathed_ lying to Sam. Sam's friendship felt like a precious gift that she was defiling every time she opened her mouth.

Seeing that she only had two more weeks until her assignment ended, Josie knew that relatively soon the truth about her would come out. Everyone would know that she had been lying all along, and the thought that people would think badly of her was tough to deal with. Yet, as hard as that thought was, what was really tearing up her insides was thinking about Sam's reaction to the news.

She truly felt that she and Sam had made a connection, had forged an unlikely closeness even in these bizarre circumstances. She thought that, out of everyone, he would feel the most betrayed by her revelation: not necessarily because she had pretended to be a student, but that, after all they had been through, she still hadn't trusted him enough to share the truth with him.

Add to the mix that Sam had gone to a lot of trouble to help her get into college. Her revelation would likely make him look foolish, if not to other teachers at South Glen for championing her cause, then certainly to the man from the Dartmouth Admissions office to whom he'd pleaded her case.

That certainly didn't bode well for the status of their friendship, nor the state of Josie's conscience.

Gus had warned her this could happen; that she needed to remain cool and detached while undercover so she could keep an impartial point of view. But he'd never told her how difficult that would be to accomplish. It was just in Josie's nature to care about people; she couldn't help it. And Sam Coulson was such an amazing guy…how could she _not_ care about him?

Without knowing how she had gotten there, Josie realized she'd reached her breaking point. How she handled this moment would determine the course of her life for months or years to come. Did she keep her secret and her job at the cost of her conscience and heart, or was she to break her silence and jeopardize the career she'd worked for years to obtain?

Reaching deep within herself for strength, Josie came to a decision. She rummaged in her purse and pulled out a pen and a small pad of paper that read "From the desk of Josie Geller" at the top. Once it was balanced upon her knee, she began to write.


	2. Chapter 2

Breaking Point

Chapter 2

Sam Coulson walked among the prom decorations without seeing them. His mind was fixed firmly on a certain petite, blonde student of his. In fact, lately it seemed as if his mind were _always_ fixed on Josie.

Sam wasn't sure how it happened…or when. But, as much as he loathed admitting it, he'd fallen for one of his students…and fallen _hard_.

It wasn't as if he'd never been the subject of a schoolgirl's crush before. He knew that, as an able-bodied, decent-looking young male teacher, it was par for the course. He'd always been careful to maintain a professional distance with his students, and let his admirers down gently whenever the need arose.

But this time was different. _She_ was different.

Josie Geller was unlike any student he'd ever worked with. It was amazing how bright, charming, and mature she seemed compared to, well, every other student in the school…or every other student he'd ever taught. She was sweet, shy, and unassuming…a beautiful young woman as much inside as out. And she was an incredibly talented writer, although she seemed not to have realized this fact yet.

But what had ultimately woven its spell around him was how very much they seemed to have in common. They both loved the written word and read avidly with a wide range of interests. They'd spent many afternoons during tasks for the Prom Committee discussing all things literary, and he had yet to bring up a book or poem that Josie had not also read.

He had been surprised to discover that Josie shared his love for baseball and hockey. Based on her love of the sport, it was no longer a wonder that she'd known who Gordie Howe was when no one else had.

Add to that their shared taste in food: both their favorites were Chinese and Italian, and certainly neither would turn away a hot dog with everything on it. And despite the difference in their ages, they even had similar taste in music.

Moreover, Josie had a way of making Sam feel immediately at ease in her presence. She was just so easy to be around, so fun to be with. He thought back to their fateful ride on the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier…and how Josie had been able to calm his fear with just the touch of her hand on his arm. Her voice had been soothing, her eyes understanding.

Sam stopped short as he recalled their conversation. Even then, weeks ago, he'd realized Josie was special…and she was someone that, unconsciously at least, he knew he wanted in his life.

He realized in retrospect that from the moment he'd told her that someday men would line up around the block for her, he had begun to compare Lara to Josie…and found that Lara kept coming up short.

Lara did not understand Sam's love of literature or his desire to share that love with others through teaching. She hated sports on principle, much preferring more "cultured" activities like cocktail parties and operas at the Met. Lara liked sushi and French high cuisine and wouldn't be caught dead near anything that used ketchup or mustard as a condiment.

It didn't bother Sam so much that he and Lara liked so many different things; it was more that Lara saw his interests as a problem, like they were things to be _fixed_ instead of being able to accept him as he was. She always insinuated that he needed to change, and after five years of hearing it, he'd actually started to believe her.

It had taken meeting Josie, finding someone who didn't treat him like he was damaged goods, someone who made him feel good about himself as he was, to realize that he'd been settling for less than he'd wanted.

It was this pervasive feeling that finally led him to break things off with Lara. When he'd called her last weekend, he'd expected a knockdown, drag-out fight, but was relieved to discover that Lara agreed with his decision. It turned out that she had noticed the growing emotional distance between them in the last couple months and agreed that their parting was probably for the best.

But no longer having a girlfriend brought a host of other problems in its wake. While Sam had been attached to Lara, he'd been able to push his growing attraction to Josie aside, reasoning that he was taken and had no right to such thoughts. But now, he had no such excuse to hold those thoughts at bay, and the strain of trying to control his feelings was definitely starting to show.

He frowned as he passed by the small bridge that he and Josie had stood upon not long ago. God, he'd almost kissed her. Here, in the school courtyard, with the entire senior class milling about, he'd almost kissed Josie, consequences be damned.

Sam raised a shaking hand and threaded it through his hair. He shut his eyes to block out the image of the bridge, but instead saw the moment playing on the back of his eyelids like a movie on a backdrop.

_Slowly, Josie had turned toward him and their eyes had met for a long breathless moment. Then her stunning blue eyes slid lower, and a look of yearning filled her features as her gaze centered on his lips. Then Josie's eyes had slid closed and she'd leaned in, closer than he'd ever been to her…_

_Perhaps Josie hadn't known what kind of message she had been sending, but Sam had read it loud and clear. This was a woman who wanted to be kissed. Correction: this was a woman who wanted __**him**__ to kiss her. His heart rate had tripled as he stared at her, as he felt her longing weaving its seductive spell around him._

_Sam knew he was the one who needed to keep a level head, the one who needed to remain in control…but the moment Josie's eyes had slid closed and she leaned in toward him, his willpower had ebbed away. Here before him was a beautiful young woman that he cared about far more than he should, who obviously wanted to be kissed by him as much as he wanted to kiss her. It was seductive and powerful, and too much for Sam's already taxed self-control to bear. The world had fallen away around them as he felt himself rock forward inch by inch until they were barely a hair's breadth apart. He could already imagine how her petal-pink lips would feel against his own, how soft her blonde curls would be as he ran his fingers through them…when reality burst through his consciousness in icy waves._

_Opening his eyes, he stared for a split second at how close he had come to taking advantage of his favorite student's apparent crush on him and couldn't stop the words whispering past his lips, "Oh my God," before leaping back as if he'd been burned._

Popping his eyes open and swallowing a large lump of self-loathing, Sam could still see the fleeting look of loss and disappointment crossing Josie's face just before hiding her mortified blush from him.

He now knew what he should have said then, what he should have done. That was the moment when he should have spoken up and put a stop to Josie's feelings for him, whatever they were, once and for all. But he knew deep down that, even if he _had_ thought of it in that moment, he wouldn't have had the heart to do it; especially when anything he would have said to her would have been a lie.

Having circled the edge of the staging area once, Sam found himself standing in front of the very benches he and Josie had occupied. Taking his seat once more, he rested his head in his hands, trying to make sense of his jumbled thoughts.

Just last night, he'd placed a call to his most trusted friend and advisor for all things female: his older sister Abby. For weeks, he'd held his growing attraction to Josie inside of him, afraid to admit it even to himself, let alone anyone else. But now that things had ended with Lara and Josie just never seemed to leave his thoughts, he knew he needed some help.

Massaging the worry lines on his forehead, Sam replayed the conversation in his head.

_The phone rang several times before a groggy female voice answered, "Hello?"_

"_Ab?" he'd said, even though he'd recognized his sister's voice._

_The woman yawned into the receiver before replying, "Sam? Is that you?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Sam, do you know it's…" another yawn punctuated the sentence, "12:30 in the morning? That means it's…2:30 there… What's the matter?"_

"_What makes you think something's the matter?" Sam evaded._

_He could almost see the glare he felt sure Abby was giving him all the way from San Francisco. "Well, seeing as you don't __**normally**__ call me at 2 am…I figure something must be up."_

"_Oh. Yeah. Well…" Sam let out a very deep sigh. "Ab…I think I've got a problem. A __**big**__ problem."_

_Sam heard rustling on the other end of the line, as if his sister had suddenly sat up in bed. "Okay…" she said, sounding much more awake now. "What's going on?"_

"_Well…I, um…well, I broke up with Lara," Sam hedged again._

"_And that's a problem?" Abby joked. "Personally, I think we should throw a party to celebrate…"_

"_Hey, you're the one who set us up," Sam reminded her._

"_God, don't remind me," Abby moaned. "Temporary insanity. That's my story and I'm sticking to it…" She paused a moment, and when she spoke her voice was somber once more. "But I don't understand why that is such a problem that you needed to call me in the middle of the night to talk about it."_

"_It's not. It's __**why**__ I broke up with her that's the problem."_

"_Okay…" Abby said, confusion coloring her voice. It was clear she couldn't follow his line of thought. "And that was because…" She trailed off, waiting for her brother to finish the sentence she'd started._

_Taking another deep breath, Sam plunged forward before he got cold feet. "…because I'm in love with someone else."_

"_But, Sam…that's wonderful!" Abby exclaimed with delight. When Sam didn't immediately agree with her, she asked, "Isn't it?"_

"_Yes…" Sam agreed, "and no." He paused a moment before blurting out, "To be honest, Abby, it's killing me, and I don't know what to do."_

"_Uh, oh…unrequited love is it?" his sister sympathized._

"_I'm…not sure. But I don't think it is…that's part of the problem…"_

"_Okay, I'm still not following, Sam…"_

"_Abby…requited or not, I can't be with her."_

"_A married woman, then? That doesn't sound like you…"_

_Sam closed his eyes, wishing the situation were only that easy. "No, not married…"_

"_Then what?"_

"_She's…" Sam took a steadying breath, leaning his head against the backrest of his chair to fight off a sudden bout of lightheadedness before whispering miserably, "she's one of my students."_

_There was a long, heavy silence on the other end of the line. Then, "Oh, God…Sam…"_

"_Yeah," Sam agreed miserably._

"_But…but…how?" Abby finally gasped. "How could you let this happen?"_

"_I don't know. I didn't mean to, Abby, I swear it! I didn't even know it was happening until I was already in over my head."_

"_The girl…how old is she?"_

"_Seventeen," Sam replied. "She one of my Senior Lit students."_

"_Does she know? Have you told her?" Abby asked._

"_I…don't think she knows. I certainly haven't said anything to her about it."_

_Very gently, Abby said, "You can't tell her, Sam. You know that, don't you?"_

_Sam closed his eyes in despair. "I know." The words came out as a strangled whisper._

_After a long pause, Sam admitted something else. "Ab, I think…I think maybe she has feelings for me, too."_

_Abby let out a sorrowful sigh. "Sam…she's your student. You know you can't let this happen."_

"_It can't happen…but it has, Abby! There's something different about Josie…something special about her…"_

"_Sam, listen to yourself! You're not making any sense!" Abby declared, her voice full of worry._

"_I know it sounds insane; really I do. But if you could just meet her, if you could just see…you'd understand."_

_Another sigh issued from Abby's mouth. "All right, Sam. Explain. Tell me about her so I will understand. I can't promise I will; but I will try."_

_Sam spent the next twenty minutes regaling his sister with stories about Josie: how sweet and kind she was, how bright and talented, how caring and thoughtful. He told her about Senior Nite, her brillant save of the prom theme, their many conversations as a result of her inclusion on the Prom Committee._

_When he had finished, another long sigh, this time of resignation, issued from Abby's lips. "Sam…I, I must admit that she sounds pretty wonderful."_

"_She is," Sam agreed._

"_Perfect for you, in fact," Abby went on._

"_I think so, too…" Sam sighed wistfully._

"_**But**__…" his sister interjected, "She's still seventeen, Sam."_

_Sam scrunched his eyes shut and massaged his furrowed brow. "I know."_

_Muttered half under her breath, Abby said, more to herself than to her brother, "I can't believe I'm saying this…" Then she asked, "Sam…when does she turn eighteen?"_

_Startled, Sam sat up straighter in his chair and wracked his brain, trying to remember if Josie had ever mentioned her birthday. "I…I don't know."_

"_Well, perhaps it isn't that far away…Maybe you should find out."_

_For whatever reason, Sam hadn't considered this. His world seemed suddenly brighter, like perhaps there was a light at the end of the tunnel after all. "Yeah, I should do that."_

"_Still, Sam…" Abby cautioned. "Even if she does turn eighteen soon, there's still a lot of complications. She's still your student for the next two and a half weeks. No matter what, nothing can happen before then…"_

"_But, Abby," Sam interjected, "I need to know how she feels about me. I need to know if what I think I'm seeing is just a crush or if it's more than that."_

"_You really should wait until after she graduates," Abby insisted._

"_I don't know if I __**can**__. It seems harder and harder to contain how I'm feeling with every day that passes. I don't know if I can make it another two weeks, Ab…"_

"_Look, Sam," Abby said flatly, "I don't want you pressuring this girl into something she might not want. I know you wouldn't do it on purpose," she hurried to add, "but you can't expect a seventeen year old girl to know her own heart, no matter __**how**__ mature she seems…"_

"_I would __**never**__ pressure Josie," Sam vowed. "I…I just need to know if I've even got a __**shot **__with her, you know? I mean…the most popular boy in school is taking her to prom…what chance do I honestly have against __**that**__?" Bitterness made Sam's words seem clipped._

"_Don't sell yourself short, little brother. From all you've told me about Josie, she doesn't sound like the kind of girl who gets her head turned easily for the wrong reasons."_

"_Maybe…" Sam said doubtfully. In his mind, Guy Perkins was a formidable rival. And it was obvious--to him at least--that Guy was quite smitten with Josie._

"_Sam, I know it's tough for you right now, but you are going to have to wait on the sidelines…at least for two more weeks. You can do it; I know you can," Abby encouraged._

"_Well, that makes one of us…" Sam muttered._

"_Look, Sam…" Abby began, annoyance lacing her voice. "If you're seriously considering the possibility of a future with Josie, then your life is going to be all __**about**__ waiting: waiting for her to grow up. If you can't even wait two weeks…"_

"_That's not what I meant. Of __**course**__ I'm prepared to wait. I just meant…" His voice dropped to barely above a whisper, as if he didn't even want to admit it to himself, "What if she falls in love with someone else because I waited too long to tell her how I feel?"_

"_Then she was never yours to begin with, Sam. It's as simple as that."_

_Sam sighed, feeling the truth in his sister's words, yet not really wanting to accept it._

"_It'll be all right, Sam. I've got a feeling about it."_

"_God, I hope you're right…"_

"_You'll see," Abby encouraged. "Now, you go and get some rest. You must be exhausted."_

_At that, Sam stifled a yawn with his hand. "Yeah, I guess I am…'Night, Ab."_

"_Good night, Sam. Talk to you soon."_

_Sam hung up the receiver and stared into the dark of his living room for a long time, lost in thought._

_He had never in his life been this attracted to a person, and it was a wildly exhilarating feeling. __**This**__ was the love that sonnets were written about, the feeling that inspired poets and playwrights to create their best works. Until now, a part of him had thought this kind of enduring, overwhelming feeling was little more than a cliché. But now that he had experienced it? He never wanted to let it go._

_Sam felt his resolve hardening. Abby was right. If there was any chance of making a relationship with Josie work, he was going to have to wait. And if it meant waiting on the sidelines, playing the part of teacher, mentor, and friend until Josie had grown up enough to know her own mind and heart, then that's what he would do…even if it killed him._

Sam was pulled out of his reverie by a tap on his shoulder. Shaking his head to clear it, he turned to look over his shoulder and smiled. "What can I do for you, Sera?" He asked politely.

Sera stuck out her hand and held out a folded piece of paper. "Josie asked me to give you this."

Sam's heart thumped against his ribcage. "She did?" he asked, grasping the paper and pulling it toward him.

"Uh huh," Sera replied. "See ya later, Mr. Coulson." Sera hurried away, leaving Sam alone once more.

Steeling himself for what might happen next, Sam unfolded the note and began to read.

-

Josie peeked around the corner of a high hedge and watched as Sam unfolded her letter and started to read it. Her heart was pounding, and she could barely breathe. As she watched, several unreadable emotions crossed Sam's face as he read. When he'd finished, he looked up sharply, scanning the crowd of students, trying to find her. Josie ducked back behind the hedge and placed a hand to her heart, willing it to slow down.

What she had done terrified her, yet there was really no other choice. This was what she _needed_ to do, _had_ to do.

Now all she could do was wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Breaking Point  
Part 3

-

A/N: Sorry it's taken me SO long to update. I still haven't given up on Snowbound (for any of those who were wondering). I'm just at one of those places where I know where I want the story to go, but can't quite figure out how I want to fill in the parts to get there... Besides that, I started a new job in August that I work a ton of hours weekly at, which leaves me almost no time at all for writing. But I plug along with a line here and a paragraph there, and eventually it pays off... (And for those who asked, my mother is doing better, thanks!)

I hope you all like where this story is going, and I will continue to try to update as my little free time allows. Thanks a lot for your comments and support! I can't tell you what it means to me. :)

-

As Sera walked away, Sam took a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm his thrumming pulse. He couldn't explain it, but for some reason, he felt as if whatever he was about to read would change his life; that somehow this was Josie's way of reaching out to him to answer those questions that were burning in his mind.

Sam's fingers trembled, making him clumsy as he unfolded the paper, afraid to see what Josie had written, yet also desperately needing to know.

The moment did not disappoint.

_Dear Mr. Coulson:_

_This is probably the most difficult letter I've ever had to write. For a while, I have wanted to talk to you about something very, very important, but I just haven't been able to get up the courage._

That is, until now. Don't get me wrong; I'm still terrified, but what I have to say just can't wait any longer, not even another day.

_Therefore, I am hoping against hope that you will agree to meet me at the Wildcat Café on North McClurg at 5:30 this afternoon so we can talk privately._

_I know that what I am requesting of you is highly irregular; and not something a student should ask of a teacher. But, right now I am not looking for a teacher; I'm looking for a friend, and you're the only one I trust._

_I wouldn't ask if it weren't absolutely necessary. What I need to tell you cannot be said at school. Once I explain, you'll understand why. I promise._

_Please…please come. I'll be waiting._

_Josie_

So many emotions threaded through Sam's veins that he hardly had time to recognize one before it would be replaced by another: curiosity, elation, triumph, anxiety, fear, anticipation.

As he finished reading her words, Sam inexplicably felt Josie's eyes on him. Somehow he knew she was there, somewhere, watching him as he read her words. He glanced up suddenly, training his eyes on the milling students to no avail.

With a mental shrug, wondering if he'd simply imagined it, Sam bent his head to reread the note. Upon first glance, he'd thought it was obvious that Josie wanted to express her feelings for him privately, but in retrospect, he wasn't so sure. There was something about the urgency of the letter's tone that disturbed him. Something didn't quite add up.

He understood not wanting to have such a forbidden discussion on school grounds, and, her choice of a small, out of the way café all the way across town from South Glen in which to meet indicated she realized the inherent danger for him as well. Yet, she'd said she was looking to speak with him as a _friend_…and in fact, the only one she could trust.

And how she said she couldn't speak to him about it at school… Sam rubbed his chin thoughtfully. If she'd wanted to make a declaration of love badly enough, he was sure she could have found a secluded enough spot here at South Glen in which to do it.

For the first time, true fear shivered through Sam. What if he was wrong about her intentions? What if…? What if she were in some kind of danger? From Guy…or perhaps even her Uncle Gus? It was obvious that Josie's uncle didn't support her or her dreams of becoming a writer at all if he wouldn't even consider the possibility of letting Josie attend college. Perhaps there was something more sinister going on…

Sam shuddered to even think about anyone hurting his sweet Josie.

Sam's lips flattened to a thin line as he folded up Josie's note and put it into his breast pocket. This new development put him in a tight spot. He knew that if he was ever caught meeting with Josie in secret outside of school it could end his career, _especially_ if the discussion included what he thought it might.

Yet Josie had taken a huge risk of her own writing the letter, and the possibility remained that she could be in real trouble. Sam knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he ignored Josie's cry for help and something happened to her because of it.

Faced with that horrifying possibility, Sam knew he had no choice. Josie needed his help, and, consequences be damned, he was going to give it to her.

-

Josie scurried across the student lot to Bambi and yanked open its creaky door, placing a hand over her heart as she laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. Snatching a paper bag from the passenger seat floor, she held it up over her nose and mouth, breathing deeply into it to keep from hyperventilating. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute and she felt vaguely lightheaded.

She still couldn't believe she'd done it; she'd actually done it: written the letter she'd longed to write to Sam for weeks.

She lowered the hand that clutched the bag and sighed. Gus would be livid if he found out what she was about to do. Perhaps he would even fire her…but she prayed he'd never discover her duplicity so she wouldn't have to find out.

Still, Josie reasoned, she honestly couldn't see how _one_ person knowing her secret could possibly jeopardize her mission. There really wasn't any risk to the newspaper; of that she felt sure. After all, she knew that, even if he ended up being upset with her, Sam was the kind of man who would still keep her secret.

Closing the car door at last, Josie put the key into the ignition and turned. Bambi's engine feebly turned over before rumbling roughly to life. Shaking her head at the deplorable condition of her brother's car, Josie put the gear into reverse.

Her mind on her potential meeting with Sam, Josie felt her heart race, whether in fear or excitement, she didn't know. She could only pray that once she'd explained herself fully, he would understand. It was almost too much to hope to think that Sam might ever return her more-than-friends intentions, especially after revealing how much she'd lied to him. Yet, as improbable as it might seem to her at the moment, she couldn't deny that the tantalizing possibility remained.

Suddenly, Josie's breath caught in her chest as an ominously cold wave splashed over her: she'd just realized that in order to find out how Sam felt about her, she'd have to survive her meeting with Gus first.

-

By the time Josie pulled Bambi to a sputtering halt into a miraculously empty parking space in front of the Sun-Times building, her hands were shaking on the steering wheel. Turning the key and pulling it out of the ignition, Josie again reached for the paper bag, giving herself a minute of slow in and out breathing to calm her frazzled nerves. In her current state, Josie wished she were doing just about anything else besides meeting with her crusty boss.

She crossed the main lobby and rode the elevator to the 6th floor without incident, but the moment the elevator doors slid open and she stepped out, it was as if she had entered another world. The normal chattery din petered out into an eerie silence as a hundred pair of eyes turned to stare at Josie. She felt her cheeks flame as she hurried down the bullpen aisle, trying to keep her eyes downcast. Even her friends Cynthia and Anita stood staring, open-mouthed, as she passed. She felt a little like Sandra Locke from The Gauntlet, just moments before all those dirty cops opened fire on the bus she was on.

All too soon, Josie reached the doorway to Gus' office. Without even looking up, he said in his normal brisk tone, "Come in, Geller…and shut the door behind you."

Josie did what Gus asked, trying not to make eye contact with any of her many co-workers who were still staring at her. She had to consciously restrain herself from frantically closing all the blinds in the office, just so those eyes wouldn't bore into the back of her skull.

Gus had gotten up to stand beside the television in his office, the one with which he constantly monitored her student life at South Glen South. He gestured toward the chair closest to him in front of his desk. "Sit," he ordered, without preamble.

Josie sat abruptly, which was actually a good thing, seeing that her knees had been shaking so badly, she wasn't sure how much longer they would have held her up. Twisting her hands nervously in her lap, Josie waited for the other shoe to drop.

She didn't have long to wait. Almost immediately Gus said, "Geller…what the_hell_ did you think you were doing today?!?"

"Wh…what do you mean?" Josie stammered.

"In case you'd forgotten, I'm paying you to be there at South Glen South because you're supposed to be getting a _story_…not to flirt with that English teacher of yours!" Gus bellowed, a sound that actually shook the glass walls of his office.

Josie felt her face burning in shame. The absolute last thing she wanted at the moment was to have to admit to Gus that she had feelings for Sam Coulson. "I…I haven't been flirting with S…Mr. Coulson," she defended tremulously.

"Bullsh-t," Gus retorted. "You've been flirting with the man for _weeks_!"

Josie thought back over the past few weeks, over many afternoons spent in Sam's company, working on prom decorations and discussing books and poems they'd read. She scoured her mind for any instances in which she'd been trying to flirt with him, and came up empty.

"I honestly don't know what you mean," Josie replied finally. "Gus, you _know_ me; I wouldn't know how to flirt with a guy even if I wanted to!" Slowly, Josie raised her head and met her boss' stare, trying to show him that she was speaking the truth.

Gus studied Josie for a long, silent moment before letting out a long, frustrated sigh. "Fine…" he admitted at last. "I'll give you that. But that doesn't change the fact that you have been doing it, even if you haven't meant to." Gus put up a hand when it looked like Josie was going to refute him. "Look, I know. I've been watching you, remember?" He pointed at the TV with the remote he was holding in his hand. "Ask anyone out in that bullpen and they'll tell you…it's been _quite_ apparent."

_Great_, Josie moaned inwardly, wishing the ground would swallow her up. _It wasn't bad enough that she had feelings for a man she couldn't have, but now it seemed she was so obvious that everyone in her office knew how she felt!_

"Luckily for you," Gus went on, a ghost of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, "it seems that your teacher isn't exactly immune to your charms."

Josie's heart felt like it skipped a beat before pounding against her ribs at double-time. "What?" she breathed in disbelief.

"Yeah, I was beginning to think that this assignment was so hopeless that you were actually gonna cost me my job. But this…this is fantastic! This one's a real whiz-banger! I'm proud of you."

Josie's blood felt like ice in her veins as Gus practically crowed, "Student-Teacher Relations: How Close Is Too Close…" Josie's mouth dropped open in horror as she watched her boss banner the words in the air with his hands. "We're gonna blow the _lid_ off it!"

Josie rose to her feet without even realizing she'd done so. "There is no lid! There's nothing going on between Sa…" Josie caught herself, but his narrowed eyes told her Gus had noticed the slip anyway, "_Mr. Coulson_ and me."

Gus actually snorted. "Yeah, and I'm Peter Pan."

"There isn't!" Josie insisted, stamping her foot. "At least…" Josie swallowed her humiliation as she mumbled, "there's nothing going on on _his_ side…"

Gus stared at Josie as if she'd grown a second head. "You're joking…" he said in disbelief. "You _can't_ be serious…"

The unchanged look on Josie's face gave him his answer.

"You really don't know?" Gus asked at last, incredulous. Shaking his head, he pointed the remote in his hand at the TV and hit rewind. After a few seconds, Gus stopped the tape and then hit play.

Suddenly she was staring right into Sam's face displayed on the screen. She heard her own voice saying, "…-guin, I mean?"

Somehow watching the moment again, away from the initial emotions that clouded her thinking, brought everything into sharp focus. Josie watched as Sam's eyes searched what would have been her own face. A softness stole into his eyes, one that took Josie's breath away. Slowly she sank bonelessly back into the chair as the Sam on the screen murmured, "Yeah…actually I do."

At the time, Josie had believed that Sam must have meant Lara…but, it was now apparent that Lara was the furthest thing from his mind as he spoke. His eyes had been riveted to Josie's face as he'd said it…making his actual meaning crystal clear.

Before she could process that thought further, she noticed the picture tilt slightly closer to Sam and knew this must have been the moment that she had momentarily lost grasp of her senses and given in to her yearning.

She opened her mouth to ask Gus to turn off the picture, not wanting to witness the humiliation of Sam's rejection again, but the sound died in her throat as Josie witnessed a blazing look fill Sam's features. His eyes again traveled over Josie's face with aching tenderness…and then incredibly, unbelievably, his eyes slid closed and his lips parted as he leaned in, coming closer and closer to the camera, his intent unmistakable…

But at the last possible moment, Sam shook his head as if waking from a dream. His head came back up and a look of such self-revulsion and disgust engulfed him that tears actually pricked at Josie's eyes just witnessing it. "Oh my God!" Sam breathed as he hastily pulled back and turned away from the camera. Gus took that opportune moment to stop the tape.

Josie placed a hand over her heart as if somehow that would calm its relentless pounding. She couldn't believe it; Sam had really almost kissed her!

"Three more millimeters, and this story would _already_ be at the printers…" Gus sighed as if he regretted Sam's last moment change of heart. Then he patted Josie on the back as if he were a coach giving her a pep talk during half-time. "But don't worry…if the guy's already that far gone, I doubt it will take much more convincing to seal the deal…"

Josie stared up at Gus with both shock and revulsion. Her stomach suddenly felt as if a cannonball had lodged itself there. "I…I can't do it, Gus. I can't do that to him…"

"You don't have a choice," Gus replied flatly. "Rigfort is already beside himself with excitement about it."

"You pitched this to Rigfort?!?" Josie stood again, horrified and outraged.

"Geller…that's my _job_. It's about time you started doing yours."

"Yeah, and if I _do _my job…Sam Coulson will almost certainly lose his!"

"Better him than us…" Gus muttered, more to himself than to Josie.

The sound of Josie's slap echoed around the enclosed glass space and filled the ensuing silence.

"_You're_ the one that wanted this assignment, Josie," Gus' steely voice reminded her as he ruefully rubbed a hand across his stinging cheek. "I tried to talk you out of it, but you insisted you could do it. Against my better judgment, I gave in. I trusted you…and where did that get me? My neck's on the chopping block right next to yours."

Gus's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "I've worked for this paper for almost 15 years. I worked my way up from cub reporter to editor in chief, and worked every job in between. I'll be _damned_ if I'm going to lose it all now simply because you fell in love with your story. Either you get out there and do your job…or else _I'll_ do it for you."

If Josie's answering look could have killed, Gus would have dropped dead on the spot. Incensed, she yanked the strap of her purse off the back of the chair and shoved it onto her shoulder as she turned her back on her boss and stomped toward the door.

As Josie shoved open the door to Gus' office, he bellowed after her, "Call me when you've got it!"

-


	4. Chapter 4

Breaking Point, Part 4

-

As Josie stormed up the aisle away from Gus' office, the many eyes that had stared at her before slid away, embarrassed, ashamed at having witnessed something so personal.

A tall, slight, dark-haired woman raced up a side corridor, intent on catching up to Josie. As she pulled up alongside the younger woman, Josie gritted, "Not now, Anita," without even slowing her pace.

"B…but, Josie…" Anita stammered, momentarily shocked by the tough-as-nails response from her best friend. Still, Anita was nothing if not persistent when she wanted something. She followed Josie all the way through the bullpen and right into the elevator.

"Anita…" Josie sighed ruefully, turning to face her friend in the otherwise deserted elevator car.

Anita didn't say anything; she just pulled Josie into a soothing embrace. She felt Josie hesitate for a moment, and then she relaxed into the hug, sniffling back angry tears. Patting Josie softly on the back, Anita said, "Don't let Gus get to you…he's just a big jerk. He's not worth it…"

Josie pulled back and wiped her eyes on the palms of her hands. "You don't understand," she replied, trying to get her breathing back under control. "What he wants me to do to Sam…I _can't_ Anita! I won't. But if I don't…_he_ will. Oh God…what am I going to do?"

"There's got to be a way around it, Jos," Anita offered hopefully.

"_How?_" Josie demanded. "How exactly is that? Gus has already told Rigfort about it!"

"I don't know," Anita admitted, "I don't know. But, look at it this way…at least it's Friday. You don't have to know the answer until Monday, and I'm sure between the two of us we can come up with something before then."

Josie looked down at her shoes and shrugged lifelessly.

"Look," Anita said, trying desperately to cheer up her friend, "How 'bout I stop over later and we can have a brainstorming session. I'll bring the ice cream…" she lilted teasingly.

Josie seemed to hardly have heard her. "Yeah, sure…whatever."

The elevator reached the lobby and the doors slid open. Josie stepped out, but Anita stayed inside, needing to go back up to work. Anita called out after her, "It's going to be all right, Josie; you'll see…"

Josie sniffed and shook her head as she walked away, knowing in her heart that it wouldn't.

As Josie pushed the glass entrance door outward and stepped onto the street, a brisk, cool wind blew in off the lake, raising gooseflesh on her arms. Josie wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands up and down her bare skin to conserve warmth, but it didn't seem to help. In truth, she felt just as chilled inside.

Josie shoved the key into Bambi's driver's side door, unlatching the lock and yanked the sticky door open, plopping herself onto the seat and pulling the door shut behind her.

Sorrowfully, she leaned forward and rested her head on the steering wheel as her eyes suddenly clouded up with tears. _Oh, God_…Josie thought, her breath catching in her chest as she held back a sob. _The letter_. Josie had had so much hope in her heart as she'd written it, praying with all her might that Sam might just understand and forgive her once she'd explained herself. But now, knowing that no matter what happened, his life was about to be ruined because of her? How could he possibly forgive her now, let alone love her? The only wonderful thing to ever happen in her life, and already she'd destroyed it.

Josie gasped as pure misery poured out of her. She grasped the steering wheel with both hands and squeezed as she sobbed, tears dripping onto the lap of her pretty white dress until it was soaked.

After a little while, her tears subsided and Josie sat up, reaching across the seat for a napkin before dabbing at her eyes with it. There was nothing for it, now. She'd already made her date with Destiny by giving Sam that letter. The risk of losing her job meant nothing to her now; all that mattered was Sam. She'd said she would meet him; and meet him she would. She had been determined to tell him the truth; now it was absolutely _essential _she do so, even though it probably meant that Sam Coulson would end up hating her. At least he would be forewarned.

A grim determination straightening her spine, she started up the car and headed for home.

-

Josie had quickly changed out of her white dress and heels, opting instead for her Northwestern Wildcats sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and sneakers: comfort clothes. Then she climbed back into Bambi for a sputtering trip across town.

-

Josie arrived at the Café with several minutes to spare. She wanted some time to compose herself before Sam arrived. That was, _if_ he arrived. There was no guarantee that he would even show up.

Still in thought, Josie pulled open the door to the café and small bells tinkled overhead. Almost immediately, a graying woman in her 50's walked toward her. "Josie, what brings you to our part of town tonight? The poetry reading is _next_ Friday."

Despite all her worry and fear, Josie smiled. "I know. Ruth," she said, leaning forward to give the plump woman a hug, "How are you?"

"Better than you, it looks like," Ruth replied frankly. "What's wrong with you, girl?"

"Oh, Ruth…to explain that, it would take a week."

Ruth put a comforting arm around Josie's shoulders as they walked further into the café. "Now, now, it can't be all _that _bad." Ruth put up a staying hand before Josie could protest. "It never is." She peered at Josie shrewdly and then stopped short, pulling Josie to a halt next to her. "Goodness gracious! After all those Friday nights alone you spent here during college, I never thought I'd see the day!"

"What?" Josie asked, confused.

Ruth leaned in, as if she were about to share a secret. "You're in love," she declared.

Josie's eyes widened. "What? No, no I'm not…" she protested.

Ruth started walking again, her arm pulling Josie in her wake. "Your pretty blush tells me otherwise," she smiled. "Now, is _that_ what's troubling you?"

"No…Yes… oh, I don't know!" Josie moaned. "It's much more complicated than that."

Ruth pulled Josie toward her usual table by the window. "Well, I've got something that I'm sure will help…"

Ruth stopped talking at Josie pulled out of her grasp. "Not my usual table today, Ruth. I need something a bit more…private, if you don't mind." Josie glanced apprehensively at the window.

Ruth's eyebrows rose expectantly.

"I'm…expecting someone," Josie stammered, heat flooding her cheeks once more.

A knowing smile curled Ruth's lips. "Oh, I see…" she said. "A _male_ someone, perhaps?"

Josie nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Well, in that case…something a bit more private," Ruth said.

Josie knew where Ruth was leading her even before she grasped her hand: a small booth literally around the corner from the rest of the room, out of the line of sight of the windows and everyone else in the room except for those going in and out of the kitchen. This was exactly where Josie had envisioned in her mind the moment she'd chosen this spot for her and Sam to meet.

"Thanks," Josie murmured thankfully, slipping onto the bench seat facing toward the rest of the room. "I knew you'd understand."

"Can I get you anything, Josie?"

"Just some decaf, thanks. I don't think I could handle any caffeine right now."

Ruth wandered around the corner and came back after a few moments with an oversized mug and a coffee pot. Pouring the steaming brown liquid into the ceramic cup, Ruth asked, "So, what's his name?"

Josie stirred in some cream and sugar and took a long sip from the steaming mug. "Sam…Sam Coulson."

"Hmm, that's a nice name. What's he do?"

"He's a teacher," Josie replied, praying Ruth wouldn't ask much more; she didn't know how she could possibly explain.

Ruth nodded in approval. "When are you expecting him?"

"Five thirty…that's if he even comes…" Josie sighed, leaning her elbows against the table.

Ruth looked affronted on Josie's behalf. "With a pretty little thing like you waiting for him? He'll be here."

Josie aimed a grateful smile at the woman and then stared down at the linoleum table. She wasn't nearly as sure as Ruth seemed to be.

Ruth seemed to sense Josie's emotional retreat. She patted Josie on the arm comfortingly. "Well, you need anything, you know where I'll be." And she turned the corner to check on the rest of her customers.

Josie slid aside the ribbed sleeve of her sweatshirt to reveal her watch. 5:22pm, it read. Her heart started racing and she had to fight the urge to hyperventilate. She thought back to what she had learned this afternoon…. not about what Gus wanted her to do, but about what she had watched on that television screen; the blazing look in Sam Coulson's eyes just before he leaned toward her…

And suddenly, Josie's eyes were wet, and she sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that seemed determined to fall. She felt cornered, trapped, like a wounded animal. She would have given anything to be anywhere but where she was. She wished beyond wishing that she could turn back time; take back what she'd done, if only to keep Sam from getting hurt, even if it meant never having met him.

All that was left now, as hard as it would be, was the truth. She owed Sam that much. No, she owed him much more for having opened up her eyes and her heart, for making her feel cared for, even cherished…things she never thought she'd ever feel.

-

Sam sat in his car, staring at the little café across the street. Seeing that it was just around the corner from the campus of Northwestern, he expected the place to be teeming with undergrads. Instead, it seemed rather quiet for early on a Friday night.

_Josie obviously knew what she was doing when she picked this spot_, Sam thought, running his hands through his hair for about the hundredth time in the past hour. All the way across town, Sam had debated the wisdom of his decision to meet with Josie.

Logic told him this was a stupid, stupid choice; that there was no way he should have even_considered_ this meeting. His heart, however, told him that he needed to come, that he needed to hear what Josie had to say, that he needed to make sure that she was all right.

Sam leaned his head against the steering wheel, staring at the car's speedometer without seeing it. He had never been so nervous in his life, and he was afraid to examine why that was. He glanced at his watch: 5:32pm. He should have met her two minutes ago…after all, he'd been here for five. Yet, he hadn't been able to muster the courage to open the car door.

-

Josie held both hands against the sides of her coffee cup, keeping her otherwise nerveless fingers warm. She stared at the clock on the opposite wall, its second hand keeping time with her heartbeats. 5:30 had come and gone…and no sign of Sam. Josie sighed, blinking back disappointed tears. _Of course he wouldn't come,_ she chided herself. _Why should he come?_

_Gus was wrong,_ she decided with a miserable sniffle. _Whatever it was he thought he'd seen in Sam's face that afternoon, whatever behavior he thought he'd witnessed, it just wasn't true. Because if Gus had been right, then Sam would definitely have…_

Josie's train of thought derailed as she heard the familiar jingling of the café door opening.

-

Sam wondered if Josie was even there; he certainly didn't see her anywhere. Again, he tried to peer through the café's windows to see who was inside.

_Don't be an idiot,_ he scolded himself mentally, _of course she's in there. She was the one who asked you, remember?_

Absently, Sam tugged at the neck of his shirt, which felt about two sizes too small. Undoing the knot at his throat, Sam yanked at the tail of the tie, pulling it free of his collar and dumping it on the seat next to him. He unbuttoned the top button and took a deep, heaving breath, as if he'd just surfaced from an underwater dive.

"Okay, this is stupid," he said aloud to himself. "Nothing's going to be solved by just sitting here." Forcing his hand onto the door latch, Sam pushed the car door open and stood, pulling the door close against his chest to let a car in the street go by him before shutting it.

Sam checked the street for traffic before jogging safely across. Looking down at his hands, he realized they were clammy; his palms were actually sweating. Sighing, he surreptitiously wiped his hands on his pants. Then, taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door.

The place was warm and cozy, homier than he was expecting, even with all the Wildcat memorabilia decorating the walls. It reminded him a bit of that place Nana's not far from South Glen where they held poetry and book readings from time to time.

Sam's eyes scanned the tables, searching for a glimpse of golden hair or eyes of piercing blue, but none of the café's current patrons matched that description.

Sam's mind whirled a mile a minute, trying to decide what this meant. He doubted that Josie would have written him that note if she had not meant to keep the meeting. Yet, he did not see her. Sam's mind slid back to his earlier fears. Had something happened with Guy or Gus…something that prevented her from coming?

Dimly, Sam registered that someone was speaking to him. Looking beside him, he noticed a pleasant middle-aged woman with an apron tied around her waist. Distractedly, he asked, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The woman smiled in apparent understanding. "I said, 'May I help you?'"

"Oh," Sam said, as if finally realizing the woman was speaking to him. "I'm…uh…sort of looking for someone."

A twinkle blossomed in the woman's eyes, making her suddenly seem much younger. "Ah…I see. You must be Sam."

Taken aback, he stared at the woman, astonished. "How did you….?"

"Hi, I'm Ruth," she interrupted, sticking out her hand for him to shake. "If you'll follow me, Josie's back here."

-

Josie gasped as she heard the familiar voice. _He came! Oh my God, he came!_ she thought, as she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. With panic setting in full force, Josie tried to just breathe as she heard footfalls coming in her direction.

-

Sam shook the woman's hand, curious about her greeting. Obviously, this woman knew Josie…and apparently knew she was expecting him. Considering the rather unique conditions under which they were meeting, he wondered how much Ruth knew about Josie's predicament.

"Is Josie all right?" he asked Ruth quietly, not wanting to be overheard.

Ruth's brown eyes seemed to bore a hole through him, as if she could see right inside of him. It was disconcerting, and he fought the urge to squirm under her gaze. "Oh, I expect she will be…now that you're here," she replied at last.

But before Sam had time to ponder what Ruth had meant, they turned a corner…and there was Josie.

She had changed since he saw her last, blending into the surroundings nicely with her purple Northwestern sweatshirt and blue jeans. Yet, Josie did not seem herself. In fact, it looked as if she had been crying. Her beautiful eyes were red-rimmed and watery and her whole manner seemed depressed, downtrodden.

Sam felt as if a vice were suddenly squeezing his heart. His throat felt also felt constricted as he breathed, "Josie, what's the matter? Are you okay?"

His worry now overpowering any feelings of nervousness, Sam sat and slid down the bench seat across from Josie until he was directly facing her.

Josie lifted her eyes to Sam's, her breath catching in her throat as she the worry etched on his face. "I…wasn't sure you'd come," she admitted, barely above a whisper.

"How could I not?" Sam replied, reaching out to put a soothing hand over hers. "You needed me."

The tenderness in his voice and touch was almost enough to set Josie crying all over again.

Sam seemed to sense this, because he reached across the table with his other hand, grasping her free hand as well. "Hey…everything's going to be all right, Josie. You'll see."

Guilt cascading over her, Josie carefully extracted her hands from Sam's and wrapped them around the now-tepid coffee cup in front of her. "No, it won't."

Sam reached across the table to tip Josie's chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Yes, it will," he insisted gently. After a moment's pause, he said, "Josie, whatever it is…I'll help you. I promise."

Josie let out a sound that was half sniffle, half snort. "After I tell you…" she whispered, almost more to herself than to him. "You're going to hate me…I just know it."

Despite himself, Sam broke out his scolding teacher's voice. "Josie…there is nothing you could say or do that would make me hate you," he said firmly. "Nothing."

Josie stared down into her own lap, as if she couldn't bring herself to even look at him. "Well, I won't hold you to that," she said bitterly.

Sam hadn't even noticed that Ruth had left until she returned with a pot of coffee and a mug. Placing both on the table next to his elbow, she nodded and gave them their privacy.

Bringing his attention back to Josie, he hesitated before asking carefully, "Josie…are you all right? Are you in trouble? Is…someone hurting you?"

Josie's eyes widened as his meaning became clear. "No…no, no, no. It's nothing like that."

Sam's eyes connected with hers. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Josie assured him. "I'm very sure."

Sam sat back against the bench seat and let out a breath. "Good," he said. "I was afraid that maybe Guy was…pressuring you, or perhaps—forgive me—your uncle…"

"My uncle?" Josie asked in confusion.

Sam gave Josie a strange look. "Yeah, your Uncle Gus. The one who thinks college is such a waste of time…"

"Oh. Oh!" Josie said suddenly, realizing whom Sam was talking about. "No, it's not that."

"Then what?"

And here it was: the moment of truth. Josie looked at Sam, opened her mouth…and found herself unable to speak.

Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths, willing her heart to slow down. Then she looked at Sam and said, "You…should probably fortify yourself with a cup of coffee. I have a feeling you're going to need it."

Sam chuckled at the knowledge that Josie knew about his weakness for java. "That bad, huh?" he commiserated, pouring himself a steaming cupful and adding his requisite cream and sugar.

"You have no idea…" Josie muttered.

Sam wrapped his hands around the mug and lifted it to his lips. He took several deep swallows before setting the cup down again. "Ahh," he said, almost reverently, "that's some gooood coffee…"

Josie smiled despite herself. Sam's love of coffee was practically legendary at South Glen South.

"Now," Sam said seriously, "what was it that you needed to tell me?"

"I…" A lump in Josie's throat forced her to swallow before continuing, "…don't even know where to begin."

"Well," he said encouragingly, "the beginning's usually a good place to start."

Josie nodded, and closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Then, with her eyes still closed (if she'd had to look at him, she knew she'd never get the words out…), she said, "You remember my first day in your class?"

"Of course," Sam replied automatically. "You defined the word 'pastoral' for me…_and_ gave me its derivation." He smiled at the memory.

"Do you remember what you asked me after that?"

Sam frowned and shook his head. "No…should I?"

"You asked me if I was really seventeen."

Sam could not figure out how this was significant. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "So? It was just a joke, Josie."

"I lied."

"What are you talking about?" said Sam, still not understanding where Josie was going with this line of thought.

Josie took a deep breath and said it all at once, as if afraid that if she stopped, she'd chicken out. "I lied about who I am. To you. Well, to everyone, actually. I lied to _everybody_. Not that I wanted to…but I did."

Sam looked at Josie doubtfully. "So, what? You're not really Josie Geller?"

"No…I mean yes…I mean, yes I _am_ Josie Geller, but…"

Sam smiled. "Wait…is this about you telling everyone you were from Bali? I told you…I already saw your transcripts. I know you're from Scranton. Not a big deal, Josie."

"No," Josie stammered, flustered. "No, that's not it…"

Sam leaned back against his seat again. "Okay, then you got me. What are you talking about?"

"I…" Josie swallowed nervously and forced herself to make eye contact with Sam. "I _am_ Josie Geller…but I'm _not_ seventeen."

-


	5. Chapter 5

Breaking Point, Part 5

-

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken sooo long to update anything. That's not by choice but by the intrusion of R/L. I have not abandoned my other story, just haven't had the time to work on updating. Thanks again for your interest!

-

Sam stared at Josie, dumbfounded. He didn't know exactly what revelation he'd been expecting to hear (although he could think of one or two he'd been _hoping_ to hear), but this definitely wasn't it. "Wait…what?"

Josie's voice shook as she repeated, "I am not seventeen years old."

Sam's eyes drifted away from Josie's, unfocused, as he tried to make sense of what she had just told him. "So, then…" he trailed off, thinking out loud, "…you're, what, sixteen? You skipped a grade?" His eyes slid back to Josie's face for confirmation.

She shook her head. "No."

Sam tried the next most likely scenario. "Eighteen then. You were held back a year when you were young and didn't want anyone to know?"

Josie shook her head again.

"Nineteen?" Sam's voice held the desperation of a man clutching at straws.

"No." Josie paused as she took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart rate that was quickly spiraling out of control. Hesitantly, Josie reached across the table and placed a hand on top of Sam's. "Sam…" she began, deliberately using his first name for the first time, trying to ensure he was paying full attention.

It worked. His eyes flew to hers, riveted.

-

Sam blinked as Josie denied being nineteen, too_. It doesn't make sense; none of this makes sense! What kind of game is she…?_

But then he felt her soft hand settle on top of his, and her touch made him lose his train of thought. But what she did next literally stole his breath away. She said his name—his first name. It both shocked and thrilled him to hear the lilting way it rolled off her tongue. A shiver of excitement rippled through him at the sound. It felt so natural—so _right_—for her to call him that. His eyes were drawn to her face, to her lips, like a moth to flame.

He stared at her, watching her lips move as she said, "I'm…not even a real student. I've already graduated from high school."

Blood thundered through Sam's veins, and the rushing sound in his ears blocked out all else. As he stared at Josie, he felt curiously lightheaded, as if he were about to faint. Sam closed his eyes to stop the world from spinning and took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. Then he opened his eyes again to stare at Josie in shock.

"Who _are_ you?" he croaked at last.

The horror mirrored in Sam's eyes at this newest revelation was almost enough to make Josie burst into tears. Her voice thick with emotion, she said, "My name is Josie Geller...and I work for the Sun Times…."

Sam's brain felt fuzzy and sluggish. It took him several long moments for her sentence to register. Then, it was as if the haze in his mind suddenly cleared and he could see the whole picture fully formed. "And you're a reporter," he finished for her, his voice as hard as steel. He pulled his hand away from Josie's as if he'd been scalded, wrapping it around his coffee mug so tightly his knuckles were white. "You're an _undercover_ reporter," he clarified.

Josie could not miss the accusatory tone with which Sam said it. She felt the pain coming off him in waves. She lowered her eyes to the table; not wanting to see the hatred she knew would soon form in Sam's face. "Yes," she whispered, anguished.

The depth and breadth of Josie's betrayal hit Sam full force. Moments they'd spent together over the past weeks flew through his mind, one after the other, each one of them now tainted by the knowledge that they were… "Lies," Sam choked the last word of his thoughts aloud. "All of it, lies…"

"No!" Josie cried, and tears spilled over her lower lids to roll unchecked down her cheeks. She reached across the table and grasped Sam's forearm in desperation. "No, Sam…it wasn't, I swear…"

Sam glared at her…but he did not immediately throw off her hand. Encouraged slightly by this, she continued, still holding on to his arm, "Yes, I know I told you I was seventeen, and yes, I pretended to be a student, but Sam…the person I was—am—with you…none of _that_ was a lie. I've never shared so much of my hopes and fears and dreams with anyone else in my entire life. I…was always too afraid. But you…you made it so easy to trust…"

"…Which is apparently something that was foolish for _me_ to do," Sam snapped. "How do I know that this wasn't all part of the plan? How can you _possibly_ expect me to trust anything you have to say now?"

"Please, Sam…just listen. If you hate me and never want to see me again when I'm all done, then so be it, but at least give me a chance to explain…" Josie pleaded.

Sam sat back, his arms crossed across his chest, as he glared at Josie across the table. Surprisingly, even though she looked terrified, Josie's gaze did not waver from his. After a long moment, Sam let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine," he clipped.

"When I came to South Glen South, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. At first, all I could think about was how this was the big break I'd been waiting my whole life for. But then…I started to remember: My first high school experience was less than idyllic…" Josie snickered darkly at the gross understatement, "and I wasn't looking forward to going through that again. But no matter how hard it was to get up that morning and put myself back into high school, it was nothing compared to the amount of lies I had to tell that first 24 hours…"

"I guess I never realized how much actual lying was involved in an undercover assignment," Josie explained. "I _hate_ lying, and here I was, having to do it all the time, every day. But then…" she stole a shy glance at Sam, "everything suddenly became more complicated. I started to fit in, of a fashion. I had started to make friends: Aldys and David, the rest of the Denominators…and most of all, you."

Josie studied her hands, trying to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks as she admitted, "You always seemed to know just the right thing to say if I was having a bad day; you knew how to make me laugh. And you believed in me, and made me start to believe in myself."

A glistening pair of tears hung from Josie's lashes, threatening to fall. "Suddenly the stakes were higher; I was no longer lying to strangers: I was lying to people I had begun to care about. But even then, I kept doing it, because I felt I had to. My job depended on it. But the longer the charade went on, the more ensnared I became in the web of lies. Suddenly, after I had given up all hope of it, I found myself accepted by the popular kids. I was invited to join the prom committee. And I got to spend more time with you."

"And I found…that the more I got to know you…the more there was to like. You were kind, thoughtful, and sweet. We had so many things in common, even though there was no way for you to know that."

The blush on Josie's cheeks deepened and her voice was barely above a whisper. Hardly aware that she was speaking aloud, she divulged, "I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but…somewhere along the way, the lines started to blur. Despite the impossibility of the situation: my assignment, you thinking I was only seventeen, your…_girlfriend_…" The last word came out in a mortified mumble. She had to clear the lump from her throat before she could continue. "…I found myself," Josie closed her eyes, steeling herself for what she was about to admit, "…becoming more and more attracted to you."

Sam's eyes widened at this admission and a jolt of awareness slashed through him. His heart began to thump wildly. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Josie had actually confessed that she was attracted to him! Part of him wanted to reach across the table, pull her into his arms, and kiss her senseless…but the more prudent part still felt betrayed by all the lies she'd told.

Josie twisted her hands in her lap, her cheeks positively flaming now. "I tried not to…I really did! But…I just couldn't seem to help it. Whenever we were together…it was like the rest of the world just melted away. Or, at least it did for me…"

Her voice dwindled away into nothingness, humiliated beyond words at her own astounding confession. She had never meant to tell Sam any of that, even in light of what she'd learned this afternoon. After all, no matter what else, Sam was still taken. Josie stared down at her lap, no longer able to even look at him.

-

Sam closed his eyes, letting the knowledge that Josie felt the same things he did for her wash over him. It was like being handed a gift, yet one he wasn't sure he wanted to accept. After all, there was so much that she'd lied about, he wasn't sure how much of what he loved about Josie was really her, and how much of it was part of her disguise.

Still, he had to admire her gumption. What she'd just admitted took an incredible amount of courage, and if she were anywhere near as shy as the teenaged Josie had seemed, then it was a truly amazing feat.

Sam studied Josie, taking in her bright red cheeks, her twisting hands, her downcast eyes, her lashes rimmed with glittering tears…and decided that if she could take such a leap of faith, then so could he.

Staring at tendrils of steam wafting up from his coffee mug, Sam found he needed to clear his throat before he could speak. When he did, his voice was quiet and husky. "It…wasn't just you."

Shocked, Josie's head shot up. "What?" she breathed, unable to believe what she'd just heard.

"It was like that for me, too," Sam repeated. "Surely you must have known."

A flicker of hope blazed in Josie's chest as Sam's eyes traveled slowly upward to meet hers. "I…I didn't know until this afternoon, when…" Josie's voice trailed off, nervous and afraid to actually verbalize what had almost happened between them.

"…when I almost kissed you," Sam finished for her.

Heat colored Josie's cheeks again and she found she could no longer meet Sam's gaze. "Yes," she whispered. Hearing him say it instantly brought the moment to mind, and Josie closed her eyes, lost in the wonder of it.

A ghost of a smile whispered across Sam's lips as he realized that Josie was reliving the moment in her head. As damning as everything seemed right now, his instincts told him that he'd made the right decision when it came to trusting this woman.

Still, though…he wanted answers.

"Josie."

She opened her eyes and met his in answer to his unspoken request.

"I need to know," Sam said simply, "how much of the Josie Geller you've shown me is who you really are and how much of it was just an act."

Josie shrugged an embarrassed shoulder. She wished she could tell Sam she was really suave and sophisticated like his girlfriend Lara, but she couldn't. She'd told enough lies.

With heat rising in her cheeks, Josie admitted, "Other than the necessary lies I told to keep my cover…_everything_ you saw is who I am." Josie's eyes drifted down to her hands, twisting a napkin around and around until it resembled a rope. "As amazing as it might seem, I really _am_ this awkward and timid and self-conscious and…"

"…sweet and adorable and funny and smart," Sam finished for her, reaching across the table to remove the twisted napkin from her fingers and replacing it with his own hand. His warm fingers squeezed her shaking ones, trying to transmit at least a small amount of comfort, to let her know without words that things were going to be okay.

Josie let out a sound that was half-sniffle, half-snort. "No, I'm not…" she protested.

"Yes you are."

Josie just shook her head in denial.

"Why is that so hard for you to believe?" he asked softly.

"Maybe because no one else ever has," Josie mumbled at her lap dejectedly.

Sam let go of one of Josie's hands and crooked his index finger under her chin, tilting her head up to face him. "Come on, Josie…there must have been _someone_ in high school…"

Now Josie did snort at the absurdity of Sam's comment. If he'd seen her senior picture, he would never have asked. "No."

"Then college, surely," he reasoned.

"Nope."

Sam's brows furrowed together with puzzlement. "What about at work?" he persisted.

"Nuh-uh," Josie replied, shaking her head.

Creases lined Sam's forehead. How was it possible that no one had noticed how incredible a find Josie Geller was? It was inconceivable to him.

Josie seemed to understand Sam's confusion. "Sam, I…didn't always look like this." She gestured toward her blonde curls.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Josie let out a long sigh and reluctantly pulled her hands from Sam's so she could rummage around inside her purse. Extracting her work ID, she held it out. "This was taken a couple of months before I started this assignment."

Sam reached out and took the small plastic card from Josie, holding it up so it caught the light above their heads. The photo that met his eyes was so different from the woman sitting across from him that he had to do a double-take to be able to tell it was even the same person. Whereas the live Josie was blond, perky, and vivacious with a smile that made her eyes glow, her two-dimensional counterpart was matronly and hesitant, her mousy brown hair pulled back into a thick, severe schoolmarm's bun.

Yet, even with all the differences, Josie still had skin like fine porcelain and those heart-stopping blue eyes. Her Mona Lisa-like smile hinted at the woman she had yet to become. Kindness radiated from her face, softening the otherwise harsh photo. Sam smiled and handed the card back to Josie.

"I will admit that you looked different than you do now, but what does that matter? It doesn't change who you are on the inside."

Josie shook her head and rolled her eyes as she stowed the card back inside her purse. "You can't tell me that you would have even looked at me twice looking like _that_."

Without a moment's hesitation, Sam replied, "If I'd had any chance to get to know you at all, I sure as heck _would_ have noticed you."

"How can you even _say_ that? God, Sam…your girlfriend could practically be a fashion model; I blend into the woodwork. I couldn't hold a candle next to her."

Sam gave Josie a look that clearly meant that he thought she'd lost her mind. "Are you crazy? She's the one who couldn't hold a candle to _you_, Josie. She might be pretty on the outside, but you have an inner beauty that Lara will _never_ have," he explained. "And besides, she's not my girlfriend. Not anymore."

Josie's mouth literally dropped open from shock. A swooping sensation descended upon her as her stomach filled with butterflies. "Wait…what!? Why?"

It was Sam's turn to flush slightly. He hadn't meant to blurt out the news of his breakup the way he had, but he found that lately he'd had a tendency to do unexpected things in Josie's presence. "Do you want the long or the short story?"

Josie was still too stunned to speak. She shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to pressure Sam into telling her anything he didn't want to divulge.

Taking Josie's shrug as a sign to continue, Sam explained, "Well, the short story is that I finally figured out what I should have realized years ago: that I was staying in a bad relationship because I didn't want to admit that we had nothing in common and wanted completely different things out of life."

"But…" Josie sputtered in disbelief, "you two seemed so happy together."

"Did we really?" Sam persisted. "Are you sure about that?"

Josie closed her eyes and played the moments back in her head. Every other time she'd pictured those moments at Delloser, Josie had focused on her own misery at discovering Sam had a girlfriend and that he was moving away. This time, she saw the little telltale details that signaled that not all was right with Sam and Lara's relationship: the way she'd latched onto Sam's arm as if anyone and everyone might be a threat, the way Lara made little veiled comments disparaging Sam, the way the light dimmed in Sam's eyes as Lara talked about him moving to New York.

Josie opened her eyes again. "No, I guess not."

Sam smiled in agreement. "Some wise person I know recently told me that 'love is too important to settle'…" Josie blushed furiously, knowing that he was referring to her, "…and that's exactly what I was doing. I was settling for less than what I wanted because I was too afraid to take a chance."

"Meeting you opened my eyes, Josie. I don't know if I would have had the courage to end things if I hadn't known you, if you hadn't made me see the truth."

Josie shook her head in denial, embarrassed at Sam crediting her for his change of heart. "I don't believe that, Sam."

"Well, you should," Sam smiled wryly. "We all have our own demons to face, Josie."

"But you're one of the bravest people I know," Josie protested. "After all, you faced your fear of heights to get on the Ferris Wheel with me…"

"That moment was a lot of things, but brave wasn't one of them," Sam admitted, picking up his half-empty coffee mug and swirling around its contents. Again he felt his cheeks burn hot as he admitted sheepishly, "One moment I was standing over at the pie-throwing booth. The next moment I was right there handing the carny a ticket and climbing in next to you. It wasn't even a conscious thought; I heard you were in trouble and I just…reacted. I didn't even fully realize what I'd done until he'd already fastened that bar in place."

Josie had thought it was Sam's sense of chivalry that had spurred him into facing his fear in order to save her some shame. But this explanation made the memory ten times better.

Josie realized that it hadn't been gallantry; it had been_love_—however fledgling—that had brought Sam beyond reason and drew him to sit next to her in Bucket 5. Even then, he'd had it bad for her, and perhaps hadn't even realized it yet… It was unbelievable, incredible; the absolute sweetest thing she'd ever heard.

"And then you were stuck on that ride with me, facing one of your worst fears…Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," Sam replied. "Being up there with you made me face a lot of things. Not just my fear of heights, but it also made me face the truth about Lara and I…and the feelings I was starting to have for you."

"I still think you were very brave," she confided to him, her blush growing again.

"Only because you were there to help me through it." Sam smiled fondly, thinking of her calming influence, remembering the touch of her soft hand on his arm that helped center him as they swayed high above Chicago.

Josie's hand's snaked up to cover both her flaming cheeks. "I can't believe this is happening…" she breathed, as much to herself as to Sam. "I never even dared dream it was possible…"

"Neither did I." Sam reached out to capture Josie's hands in his own, placing them on the table between them. "But here we are…"

Josie's eyes met Sam's and the intensity of his gaze took her breath away.

Suddenly an impish look stole across Sam's face. He leaned forward as if he was imparting a secret of great importance. In a loud stage whisper, he said playfully, "I _told_ you there was nothing you say to make me hate you…"

Josie's burble of delighted laughter trailed into a choked cough. In her thrill and excitement of learning that Sam had forgiven her deception, Josie had forgotten that that was only half of the story. "Well, there's still time," she responded with black humor. "You haven't heard the rest of it yet."


End file.
